If you are starting on your journey of healing and dealing with childhood trauma, here is some encouragement and support in how and why it is important to take it slow.

Transcript of the video

Today we’re going to be talking about how we approach healing and dealing with our childhood trauma.

Now if you’re just beginning this journey where you’re looking at understanding and healing some of the trauma that you may have gone through as a child and looking at how it affects you as an adult, or you’re somewhere midway through the process or you’re somewhere in the process if there’s one bit of advice I could give it is to “go slowly”.
The process of healing and dealing with the trauma we’ve incurred during our childhood is slow. it requires patience, it requires self-kindness, it requires understanding.

What’s not required is quick fixes, rushing pushing, and force.
now it makes sense if there is a part of all of us when we come to grips with or we recognize painful feelings or painful experiences that we just want to kind of deal with it. we just want to get on the things. I remember when I first started therapy years ago I thought “look I’ll just do this for two or three months I’ll get it done and dusted and then I’m done with it” and as I discovered, I’m sure many people discovered, it just doesn’t work that way.

So what I would advise is that the way you come at your trauma and the overall viewpoint you take will affect the impact of the process itself. A very basic bit of advice is to go slowly, is to take this little by little, day by day, bit by bit.

Because we got to where we’ve got to as adults often over decades the trauma has affected us in all areas of our lives. It seeped into many different aspects of our lives, so the process of understanding this undoing, this adapting, changing, and transforming is a slow process.

Be wary of anyone that is selling shortcuts, quick fixes, one month, two months, brain hacks, mind hacks, healing hacks, whatever it is. That gets sold as “you can get through this quickly just pay this amount of money” or “do this kind of thing” or “follow this method and you’ll be transformed instantly overnight”

It doesn’t work, it’s not real. What’s real is the change that is approached slowly, kindly, and patiently, a little bit a little, bit by bit. We are in a culture now it is very quick and very rapid. Do you want a bit of information? You get it! You order something on Amazon that either comes the same day or possibly the next day. We want things and we get things instantly. So we have to be wary where we’re being sucked into that mentality when it comes to dealing with our childhood trauma.

There are no quick fixes but there are lasting and fundamental changes and those lasting and fundamental changes take time but they are lasting. It is worth taking the time, you are worth taking the time. You worth looking at this as a process that you’re in for the rest of your life, not as a prison sentence but as a process of evolving and growing.

There never is an endpoint, where we get there and we say” I’m done, I’m fixed, I’m healed” but there are points along the way we just feel better and better. Yet those changes often aren’t felt day to day, where one day to the next we’re instantly transformed but we can look back six months ago and say I’ve improved from there or a year ago I’ve improved from then. As those changes are incremental, they’re slow, and often they’re lateral, they don’t work on a straight line. Think of snakes and ladders, snakes and ladders is a game where we keep rolling the dice, we hit snakes, we hit ladders. No one ever, at least from my experience, ever rolls and always gets ladders, always goes up to the end immediately. part of the whole process is the up and down movement. sometimes we get ladders, sometimes we get snakes. sometimes we skip ladders and a little bit little, as we keep rolling the dice, as we keep moving forward, as we keep persisting slowly but surely we get to the end of the game.

This is all we’re after, a slow steady incremental process. So if you’re approaching your child to trauma, you’re starting but you’re somewhere in it just remember please take your time please take it slow, a little by little. as you have trust in that process as you have trust that things will improve, things will get better, and when they do they’ll be lasting because you’ve taken the time. You’ve been kind and understanding with yourself.

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